Disclaimer: I hate cars
Update: Some readers suggested that people would ignore the number and just take the first available space, or park badly and render adjacent spaces unusable. I guess I’ve been back in Germany for too long to have considered this. I admit it’s a possibility in some unruly countries, but as Obama moves the world towards Utopia, and because I have a typography assignment to finish, I’ll just ignore it.
Recently, I had the unfortunate privelege to travel. Now, I don’t mind being somewhere else than home. For example, I have just had a rigorously splendid time in France. No, it is the act of getting there I despise. Airplanes, trains, cars—it’s all insane.
Trains feel relatively safe to me. They’re travelling on rails on the ground, so there really isn’t much that can go wrong. Also, one can look out of the window and see beautiful landscapes, which is always a plus.
Airplanes seem rather unsafe to me with their flimsy wings and spindly bodies shimmying about in the skies. But they’re thoroughly tested, regularly checked and flown by trained professionals. Thus, the left side of my brain still manages to calm down the right one when flying, although violence is needed at times. One doesn’t have a picturesque view from the window though, which makes flights a lot less enjoyable than train rides.
Cars are one of the most horrible inventions ever. When driving on the motorway, one is surrounded by dozens of other people. Some of them old, some tired, and some without their glasses. They’re all driving at a 100 miles an hour, bumper to bumper. Madness! It only takes one tiny hump in the road to throw someone off course, wreaking having among them all. Also, ecologically, they’re pretty bad for the environment.
But then again, I’m the German equivalent of a soft southern pansy and digressed from talking about car park usabilty, which I wanted to do because part of the travelling involved parking at one.
The problem with car parks is that most of the time, it’s bloody annoying to find a parking space. Imagine a car park with 5 floors of 200 parking spaces each. There is a sign outside, indicating 100 free spaces. But where are they? At the top floor? Somewhere in the basement? If the car park is rather full, one has to circle every floor, looking.
Give each parking space a number. When a driver is getting the little paper ticket at the barrier, just print the bloody number on the ticket, keeping track of the free/occupied ones. Boom. Instant happiness. Less agitated drivers. Less domestic violence. Happier families. A better society. One more step towards Utopia.
Do you have any opinions on the notions conveyed in this text? Send me an e-mail and I’ll publish it here. I might censor it though. Because I can. Because I’m German.